Top Numbered Somethings: The Simpsons

The Simpsons reached a huge milestone this weekend when it aired its 500th episode. Like any middle-class male whose formative years took place around the same time The Simpsons debuted, my sense of humor owes a huge debt to the absurd shenanigans that take place each week in Springfield. While the quality of the show has waxed and waned since it's heyday of seasons one through eight, The Simpsons is still something I can count on every week for a few laughs while also sometimes managing to reach the heights of its hall of fame days. Here are my five favorite episodes in almost no order.

Homer Goes To College - When the Nuclear Regulatory Commission discovers that Homer doesn't have a college degree, he goes to school in an effort to rectify that and also live out every college comedy movie he's ever seen. Unfortunately for Homer's fantasy, the dean is not a monster, he befriends the nerds, and it turns out that Nuclear Physics 101 is kind of a difficult course. Much like any classic Simpsons episode, it's infinitely quotable and manages to focus on the one storyline the whole way through the half hour. It's also written by Conan O'Brien, demonstrating the depth the writing staff had at the time.

Homer Badman - Through a misunderstanding about a gummy Venus de Milo, a babysitter accuses Homer of sexual harassment. The media firestorm surrounding her accusation is the kind of satire that The Simpsons does best.

Three Men and a Comic Book - As soon as The Simpsons showcased an entire episode about buying an expensive comic book, they had me secured as a fan forever. It's not like comic books got any mainstream attention back in 1991, so getting one of the most popular shows in the world devoting half an hour to the expense of a single issue and how difficult it would be to split ownership between friends spoke to me on a level I hadn't experienced before.

Holidays of Future Passed - Here's an example of territory the show has covered before to varying degrees of success (fast-forwarding to a possible future for the family to see where they end up), and yet it's one that is incredibly sweet without losing the biting humor the show has always employed. There are definitely funnier episodes, but the weight of the show's history pushes this one over the top, especially the montage of family holiday photos at the beginning.

You Only Move Twice - Hands down, this is my favorite episode of all time. Hank Scorpio and his Globex corporation hire Homer and move the family to Cypress Creek because he's the second longest tenured individual at the power plant. Life seems perfect in the new town, but no one except Homer is happy. Also, despite his jovial exterior, Hank Scorpio is a James Bond style villain bent on world domination. Al Brooks steals the show from everyone else as the voice of Hank Scorpio, and his is a guest starring role that no one else has ever really been able to top.

What are your favorite episodes of The Simpsons?

Frosh
We've spent the last two weeks transitioning from the balcony scene in Romeo & Juliet to finally attacking the first act of Othello.

Seniors
Thematic dichotomies abound in Macbeth. Keep looking out for those and focus on those paragraphs.

Don't call it a comeback!

LL Cool J knows what does and doesn't qualify
as a comeback.

HELLO!

Clearly, this blog has seen better days when it comes to the frequency of posting. Part of the reason for the infrequency of posting has to do with the fact that some jerks robbed my house in the early part of December, which definitely has an adverse effect on how much a person wants to interact with the world. Fortunately, no one was hurt and the damage was minimal. The things they took were just that: things. No one was home at the time (Although, our personal Batman-style detective work points to the fact that the perpetrators were teenagers interested in skinny jeans and anime, so my presence filled with menacing teacher looks may have been a deterrent.), and our dog was perfectly fine.

My wife and I are at the point now where we can joke about what a terrible guard dog our Spider-Man is; he barks incessantly at a perceived doorbell or knock, whether it's someone actually arriving at our house or something that occurs on television, yet a real threat to our abode leads to me arriving home to a perfectly happy dog.

I'm torn as to whether I should carry the burden of trying to catch up on all of the days I have missed in the nearly two months since I last wrote a classroom post, or if I should cut bait in the hopes of maintaining a motivation for writing. I'm leaning towards the latter. As a compromise, I'll merely discuss what we've gone over instead of doing a day by day breakdown. Heck, if that works better overall, I might adopt that for classroom posts in the future.

Frosh
After finishing up Fahrenheit 451, we focused on a research style project where you read through several articles on the idea of juvenile justice. You completed an essay on the subject after going through a plethora of pre-writing activities.

When we returned from winter break, we began to focus on the life and times of William Shakespeare in preparation for the third quarter text. Our focus will be on Othello this semester, but, since it's the first time I've taught that play, we'll also turn our attention towards Romeo & Juliet at times. This will serve the dual function of expanding your knowledge of Shakespeare's plays while also providing you the core literature the college prep classes cover.

We also spent a good portion of time on sonnets and iambic pentameter in an effort to prepare you for the style of writing Shakespeare employs. This is not to say that every single thing in either Romeo & Juliet or Othello will appear in this style, but it does prepare you for the diction and syntax present in the plays. Today, we'll be focused on reading through the famous balcony scene from Romeo & Juliet.

Seniors
After completing the senior literature project, we spent some time on Chaucer and the Canterbury Tales. However, the time available towards the end of the semester couldn't do justice to the time needed to properly cover the literature. I know this breaks everyone's heart.

When we returned from break, we also started our focus on William Shakespeare. This is the one time of year where the subject matter of both my senior and frosh classes dovetail, presenting both opportunities and challenges in how to differentiate the instruction for the varying levels. You focused on reading through the cleverly titled Shakespacket, writing a short four paragraph essay with the provided topic sentences.

Now, we are currently in the thick of reading Macbeth, having just completed act I today in class. Everyone should be looking for examples of thematic dichotomies in the text in order to complete the paragraph due on Friday. Remember that a key aspect of completing said paragraph is to be able to distinguish your evidence from your analysis through highlighting.

Top Numbered Somethings: Recent Video Game Experiences

With a few things on the back burner that I'm currently in the middle of writing but aren't quite ready for public consumption yet, I figured I could discuss some recent video games I've played. I suspect that once my wife and I have children, the limited time I make for video games will disappear altogether, but, in the meantime, I enjoy pretending that I am a digitally rendered avatar of a popular licensed or real-life figure of which I have total control.

3) Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood - The most surprising aspect of this really fun multiplayer update of the great Assassin's Creed sequel is that the story mode is so deep. While the point of the game is to engage in the multiplayer mode for which it was designed, I haven't done so yet because almost everyone in the world beats me at any kind of multiplayer game except when it comes to UFC Undisputed 2010. Even then, I still have a hefty losing record. I imagine I might have more time for some of the multiplayer experience when summer comes around.

2) Marvel vs. Capcom 3: The Fate of Two Worlds- Once upon a time, I played Street Fighter 2 exclusively on an arcade machine and excelled with Ken, Ryu's blonde-haired red gi-wearing counterpart. Eventually, though, the Capcom world passed me by because it became about the number of combination hits a person could get while juggling their opponent in the air. I thought I might have a seizure because it became so frenetic. However, with the inclusion of Thor, Deadpool, and M.O.D.O.K. (Mechanized Organism Designed Only for Killing), I couldn't resist this game. This is another one that I wouldn't dare ever play online, but it's really fun watching the Hulk smash things up.

1) EA Sports MMA - Ugh, this game is so frustrating. There was a ton of hype for this game prior to release because EA is considered the standard bearer of sports games, and UFC president Dana White famously denounced EA in the press because before UFC Undisputed 2009's development, EA refused to even meet with the company, calling UFC "not a real sport." Once THQ's first UFC game became a hit, EA changed their tune and started to develop this title.

Here's the thing: I have two go-to games that I always return to once I either beat or grow tired of the latest game. Either I go right back to playing the latest WWE or UFC release because for each one I can play one or two matches, not stink, and then turn it off. My standards for this type of game, then, are going to be fairly high. EA Sports MMA does not come close to measuring up to those standards. Since the reviews were poor and sales from the week of release were in the toilet (and because I am cheap), I waited for a significant price drop before buying it but I wish I had just stuck to a rental.

However, there are a few things that work and I note these in the hopes that THQ will swipe them to use in the next installment of UFC Undisputed. The one aspect of MMA that EA got perfectly right is submissions. The spinning the right control stick debacle that THQ calls "the shine" makes submissions nearly impossible in Undisputed. EA created a system that fits organically with how each submission works in the context of a fight: finding a sweet spot to apply a choke and working to hyperextend a joint for a limb attack. It makes sense because each type of submission requires a different approach by a fighter, unlike the same approach each time that THQ employs. Other things that work: facial damage and the aftermath of such damage looks as devastating as it does in a real MMA fight and the career mode is fun to play instead of a chore.

The good parts end there, though. Everything else about the game feels superficial and one-dimensional. UFC Undisputed does a great job of making each fighter feel independent and unique with striking, takedown and submission animations that are unique to that fighter. None of this exists in EA Sports MMA. The striking, employed by utilizing the right control stick, is basic and difficult to manage, not to mention limiting. Even if the creators had made unique animations for each fighter, they would only have what feels like three strikes per limb compared to the what feels like twelve to fifteen per limb of UFC Undisputed. Considering EA managed to procure every name fighter not under contract to UFC AND Randy Couture, you'd think they would take the time to make the fighters feel unique during gameplay and not interchangeable. Where is Nick Diaz's pitter-patter boxing style or Bas Rutten's liver kicks? Nowhere, that's where. And while it's nice that the creators gave the game and the sport its worldwide appeal by including different rules and arenas, there's no real difference in gameplay between fighting in a ring or a cage, which is the entire point of including the two.

And, yet again, I've written way too much about MMA in my teaching blog.

We have almost two weeks of catching up to do! Yikes! Plus, this entry is getting long, so I'll hide the whole purpose for this blog under a cut.

What's a grown up?

Why is Chris Rock's body
half-destroyed by the waterslide?

"Remember when you were a kid and you thought there was such a thing as 'real grown ups'? You were crying because you got sent to your room and said, 'You know what? One day, I'm going to be a grown up and everything is going to make sense.' Then one day, you're 25 in the supermarket and the bag boy calls you sir. How did that happen?"

- Joe Rogan

At 31 years old, I'm often confronted with the fact that I am considered by most to be a grown up. This is an odd notion with which to contend because there are too many occasions where I feel the opposite. Sure, I have a career as a teacher, but my walls are covered with superhero decorations my wife and I bought at Party City. We pay our cable bill each month, but at least a third of our DVR is filled with cartoons, yet we don't have any kids at the moment. Far too much space in our house (MY WIFE AND I OWN A HOUSE!) is devoted to comic books, DVDs, CDs and video games. Yet, by most accounts, especially those of my students, I'm considered a grown up, and I'm definitely expected to act like one.

This idea is astronomically mind-blowing because the more I learn, the less I realize I know. We (the collective 'we' or the royal 'we,' in this case) come away with the idea that grown ups are the ones that know things, the ones that keep the world working and in order. Grown ups raise us and prepare us for the world. However, what no one tells anyone else, and what comedian Joe Rogan alludes to in the above quote, is that not a single person ever realizes they've become a grown up.

Allow me to pull the curtain back on the grown up experience for a second here. "Grown ups" are a figment of our youthful imagination. No one knows what they are doing and those that say they do are just smart enough to fake it. There is no such thing as a grown up. As much as I questioned myself as an adolescent, as a teenager or even as a little kid, wondering what it is I'm supposed to do with my life or when it will be that I will have it all figured out, I can honestly tell you that I am no closer now than I ever was then. Sure, I have some answers; marriage made sense to me because I found a wonderful lady, and over the course of time I started figuring out that paying bills, for instance, leads to the rest of my life being easier. But those answers only brought more questions and more concerns. Will my wife someday get tired of my antics? (Probably not, if she hasn't already.) Will the pressures of maintaining my preferred lifestyle weigh me down and prevent me from growing as a person? (Yikes, that's just a scary question to even ask.) No one has anything figured out to any degree of certainty, and that's something that makes life amazing and frightening. Everyone pretends to know the answer but that's only because they're too scared to admit that they have no idea what is going on. No one is excluded from this, either; me, your neighbor, the President of the United States and everyone else in between -- they're all in the same boat.

And the horizon? Holy jeez, folks, I'm planning to have kids one day. Figuring myself out and coming to terms with being a grown up is one thing, but trying to get somebody else prepared for a world I hardly understand but find to be insane and fascinating all at once is an entirely crazy proposition.

What's even crazier is that all of this came about not because I saw that terrible Adam Sandler movie but because my wife and I went to buy an oven this weekend. That's a decidedly grown up action and one that could only be mitigated by purchasing a new video game.

With that out of the way, let's take a look at last week's antics.

Frosh
For Monday through Thursday of last week, we focused our energy on Act II of Romeo & Juliet. These two crazy kids meet, fall in love, and get married in the space of about 12 hours, something that usually only happens in Las Vegas. Now, two questions remain. How will this affect everyone else in the play and what will the consequences be of their rash action? Here's a hint: poorly and death.

Friday, we moved forward.

Yesterday, you turned in your act II study guide and review. We assigned roles for act III and started reading it. The third act, and the first scene in particular, serve as a real turning point for the rest of the play. Things will go from largely comedic to incredibly tragic very quickly.

Seniors
Monday of last week, our guest from Everest College gave a presentation on professionalism for job interviews. Much of what she discussed consisted of common sense information, but it's always important to revisit and remember those ideas.

Tuesday through Thursday saw us finish Macbeth and see the titular bad guy foiled due to his own hubris and faith in the equivocal prophecies. Also, his head was chopped off, so that must have made an interesting 17th century visual on stage.

Friday, you worked on the Metaphor in Macbeth assignment dealing with Macbeth's lamentations on the meaninglessness of life. Keep that speech in mind as we enter our next unit on Albert Camus' The Stranger.

Yesterday, you turned in your act V paragraphs, received the final Macbeth paragraph assignment and began working on the Film Interpretation questions for the Polanski version of Macbeth. It was a busy day. Keep in mind that the questions will be due Monday, February 28 and the final paragraph is due Wednesday, March 2.

Top Numbered Somethings: Awesome Songs by So-So Artists

Most of my favorite songs are by bands or artists that I also consider to be my favorites. If I were to name my top five favorite songs, they'd probably almost exclusively be by two or three of my top five favorite artists.

Both of those are lists for another day, however. Instead, I was curious about another facet of favorites: songs a person absolutely loves by artists towards which they are completely ambivalent. This is not to say that the artists are in any way bad. In fact, it's very possible that someone could see any of the following musical acts as a huge deal and their personal favorites because they're talented and have storied careers, but that's not the point of this list.

For me, I don't care one way or the other about these artists; they just have songs that hit me where I live. There's one other caveat, too: no one-hit wonders. For some reason, choosing a one-hit wonder (for example, The Proclaimers and their song "(500 Miles) I'm Gonna Be") shouldn't be an option because that's the only thing from them that you could really pick. I figure that this is a list where people could possibly be insulted by the fact that I chose their favorite band but appreciate the fact that I at least really dig one of their songs. Here are my top five in this very specific category:

5. "Don't Look Back in Anger" by Oasis
4. "Halo" by Beyonce
3. "Crooked Teeth" by Death Cab for Cutie
2. "Nine in the Afternoon" by Panic! At the Disco

1. "Story of My Life" by Social Distortion

I provided links to audio samples of the songs if you are not familiar with them, but my tastes in this arena are pretty mainstream. It's not hard to fathom that you've heard them before, but, just in case, you can click on the link and give it a go. Feel free to post your choices in the comments, too.

Frosh
Due to a miscommunication issue, I was caught by surprise by the registration assembly on Monday. It threw me off my plan for the week, but you were able to figure out your classes for next year. Sophomore year is a tough one because so much of your schedule is picked out for you and there's not too much in the way of choice. My only advice is to power through, make the best of it and know that the high school world is your oyster during your junior and senior year should you stay on track with your given courses.

We began act two of Romeo & Juliet on Tuesday and continued in that vein through Wednesday, allowing us to cover almost the entire balcony scene. While it's considered by the world at large to be the most famous scene in all of Shakespeare as well as romantic as all get out, we instead focused on how creepy it is that this dude was listening to the object of his affections inner-most thoughts right after they met. Romeo's actions would qualify him for stalker status by today's standards, and he's pretty lucky that Juliet is as taken with him as she is at that point.

Despite some technical difficulties on Thursday, we managed to get through two different versions of the balcony scene for media analysis. The media analysis sheet is due, appropriately enough, on Monday, February 14. It's Valentine's Day, you see.

Seniors
Macbeth's act four is done and out of the way as we covered it for the entire week. While it's the shortest act in the entire play, leading many to believe that it's the one that has been most ravaged by the fact that an original Shakespearian script has never been found, it does contain one of the longest scenes. Malcolm and Macduff really hash it out, giving us a clear view of Malcolm and his claims to have never lied before that moment (forcing us to ask if he's even telling the truth with that statement) and Macduff making the case for his dogged patriotism at the expense of the lives of his family members.

More importantly, we get Macbeth's second encounter with the witches, which is itself up for debate. Did Macbeth really find them? If so, how does Lennox and whoever else is there at the end not see them? Are they truly supernatural and fantastical or did Macbeth's insomnia-induced brain conjure them up? These are the kinds of ideas you could really explore pretty deeply in your dichotomy paragraph that is due Monday, February 14.

Today was that Sports Ball match!

SPORTSBALL!

There's some kind of game on today, right?

People are always confused by the fact that I don't care at all about football or any other team sports. My explanation for my apathy doesn't help, either. In my formative years, I played baseball (as a southpaw, I served as a mean first base) and dabbled in soccer when I was 10 (perfecting the art of the flop in my sole season) and flag football during middle school (a savant in the one play of one game where the coach put me in at safety). The descriptions above shouldn't be read with bitterness, but with the knowledge that the feelings towards the sports were mutual; I spent the most time playing baseball and performed the best there, but even the novelty of it ran its course while the other two were one and done occasions.

Jon Jones may be able to add
Spider-Man to his list of defeated
opponents if he keeps this up.

Here's how it breaks down as a friend reminded me earlier today: all sports are a metaphor for fighting, so I don't waste my time with the metaphor and stick to straight depictions of fighting, whether they be real or imagined. Back when I played baseball, soccer, or football, I always wanted to be back on that Saturday afternoon in time to watch WWF Wrestling Challenge or WWF Superstars. And while the now WWE has become more of a source of embarrassment in terms too numerous to explain at this point in time, getting into UFC and MMA in general back in 2002 has provided the appeal of two dudes fighting without the constant accusations of the "How can you like it if it's not real?" crowd.

Speaking of fighting, for those of you at Kings Ball last night who were unlucky enough to miss the action at UFC 126, there were some huge news items coming out of that show. First and foremost, with the exception of the Forrest Griffin/Rich Franklin fight, I called all of the winners and even most of the methods. Besides proving myself to be the greatest man among all men, the other big news was Jon Jones getting a title shot in just six weeks. This has taken a card that I wasn't feeling too strongly about to  a must-see event come March 19. Mauricio "Shogun" Rua is a dangerous dude, but he'll be coming off a nearly year-long layoff due to a knee injury to face a guy that has the potential to be an all-time great while making it look easy.

In the meantime, I've been out of the blog-writing business for too long, so here's the last week's rundown.

Frosh
Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and and our rally-shortened Friday were all spent reading through act one of Romeo & Juliet. We witnessed Romeo being emo as all get out, Juliet appearing more practical than most her age, the Nurse embarrassing everyone in sight, and Mercutio providing lots of moments for actors to ACT in the Jon Lovitz style. You should be keeping up with all of the ins and outs of the act with your study guide. It and the act one review are both due on Wednesday, February 9.

Tuesday, we focused on media analysis. Having watched two different versions of the same scene, you compared them both to our own reading of the play, noting the differences in the characters, setting and action. You then focused on one or two details that stood out to you and wrote a paragraph on how and why those details mattered most. This is something I think is really important to do when we study Shakespeare since they were plays meant to be seen. Reading them alone doesn't do them justice.

Seniors
Monday through Wednesday were spent reading through act three of Macbeth. We see Macbeth slowly declining into madness due to committing regicide and doing everything he can to cover it up. The dichotomies are ripe and ready for the picking on your part, so remember that your act three paragraph is due on Monday, February 7. The plan is to finish act four before the end of the week and that paragraph will be due on Monday, February 14.

Thursday was an utter failure. The plan was to watch act three from the perspective of Orson Welles, but right off the bat in fifth period we witnessed how thoroughly he decided to leave his mark on the production by the sheer number of changes present. We discussed this in sixth period as well, accounting for the mismatched lines, the lack of a feast and Banquo seeming to think that Macbeth was king literally minutes after Duncan was discovered murdered and Malcolm taking off. I did manage to right things a bit, and we took the act three quiz a bit later.

Friday, I managed to free my VHS copy of the Royal Shakespeare Company's version of Macbeth, which is thankfully a lot more accurate, so we watched act three as it is meant to be shown. Notice that their choice for the third murderer, Lennox, will be different than the choice for other versions, most notably Polanksi's version.

Humble Pie

In the before time...

When I was a lot younger than I am now, a pie in the face was the funniest gag I had ever seen. The Three Stooges, I Love Lucy and countless other old timey, slapsticky programs all provided countless examples of why a big pile of cream and filling -- whether thrown from a distance or slammed up close -- is the height of comedy. I started making it known that getting a pie in the face would be a dream come true. Come Thanksgiving, my Uncle Tom snuck up behind me and waylaid me with  a tin full of whip cream. It wasn't quite a pie, but it was a pie equivalent and the sentiment behind it was the thing that really counted.

The aftermath

For those of you unaware, I volunteered to be eligible for the Pie a Teacher in the Face fundraiser that the International Awareness club held Friday during lunch. The group's efforts raised money for Invisible Children, a group designed to help end the combat that utilizes child soldiers in northern Uganda.  People who donated money to the club chose a teacher from those eligible and the top four teachers from each lunch received a pie in the kisser. The sticky hair and sour smell in my nose for the remainder of the day was worth it because the cause is something I can get behind. Plus, it was a nice reminder of days gone by with my family.

I included the video of the pie-facing at the bottom underneath the cut.

Frosh
Monday through Thursday were all focused on reading through the first two scenes of Romeo & Juliet. The beginning always takes awhile, but we did manage to get through most of the second scene. We detailed the idea of spectacle and how Shakespeare uses it to engage the audience who might not be all that interested in a teenage love story otherwise. Plus, we get our first look at Rom-emo, but you'll get annoyed with him before too long. Mercutio is where it's at but we haven't met him quite yet.

Friday, we moved forward.

Seniors

On Monday, you received the Act I post-reading questions and spent the period working on those.

Tuesday, you turned in those answers. We then started our look at the rest of act II, which took us through Wednesday and part of Thursday. The summary of the act is located on my Files page here, but the big news is that Macbeth kills King Duncan, and his sons get the blame since they run out of fear for their own safety. There were a bunch of dichotomies that we discussed in conjunction with these events. Your goal in completing the paragraph that is due (as of this writing) tomorrow is to make sure that the analysis for whatever evidence you find explains why it fits for the dichotomy you choose. 

We dealt with my busted DVD/VCR situation by watching Orson Welles' version of Macbeth as opposed to the Royal Shakespeare Company's version, since the latter is stuck in the broken combo. Orson Welles made some weird choices, and, after reading up on the history of the production, his was only the fourth adaptation of a Shakespeare play ever filmed with sound and the first ever adapation of Macbeth as a big screen movie. The fact that Welles changed so much of the play was scandalous at the time to many critics, but it's since become common practice. There's a third version that the library has, so perhaps we'll watch that one for act III. 

You also took a quiz on act II on Thursday. 

Speaking of quizzes, everyone took the retest on the Macbeth terms on Friday, and we got a few lines into act III.

"I love technology but not as much as you, you see."

While I was not here on Thursday, I was present on campus. I spent the day in a training for a new program the district plans to implement this year called School Loop. The program looks promising and some of the little things it has to offer make the effort needed to change completely worth it. Also, the larger aspects of the program, like parents and students having accounts that they can use to communicate with teachers and track their progress, will be very beneficial to everyone at the school. Once everyone has the okay of the administration, I plan to take each of my classes to the tutoring center so the students can set up their account. The latest I anticipate this happening is March, so this is something I can see aiding all of the students at the school, even the seniors whose first thought about anything announced as "new" is, "It won't benefit us." Trust me, it can and will.

Frosh
Last Thursday, January 13, we checked for ORU books and then went over the act I prologue of Romeo & Juliet. It essentially serves as a preview for the audience so they know what they're getting into with the play. The groundlings can't say Shakespeare didn't warn them, and, yet, they would still get affected by the ending despite knowing what was coming. In fact, it's knowing what is about to happen that makes Romeo and Juliet's story all the more tragic. There's nothing the audience can do but watch as these two young kids experience dizzying highs followed by the lowest of lows.

On Friday, January 14, we moved forward.

Tuesday, you took the lit terms and concepts quiz. Afterwards, we picked up books from the library and then assigned act I roles. You'll occupy that character for the duration of our reading of act I.

When Wednesday rolled around, I decided to change my initial plans. Instead of what I originally planned, we instead practiced how to complete this semester's ORU, and I'm glad that we did because I feel like everyone is a bit more comfortable with the new format and the new skill set needed to complete it.

I was at the School Loop training on Thursday, but you and Mrs. Keepers completed the Romeo & Juliet Scavenger Hunt and discussed the results. The items on the list are things to which many of you can relate and will see in the play.

Friday, we yet again moved forward.

Seniors

Last Thursday, January 13, you turned in the aside questions. We focused the rest of the period on trying to get a grip on Lady Macbeth. Is she overly ambitious, not realizing what she's getting herself and her husband into? Or is she just an evil, vile woman who had the unfortunate temerity to be born a woman instead of a man? The answer is probably somewhere in between, but she's definitely one of the deepest female characters in any of Shakespeare's plays.

While we got our first look at Lady Macbeth in scene v, scene vii gives us a look at the Macbeths as a couple and how the two interact, which we read Friday. The scene also gives us a look at Macbeth's indecision, as he realizes that the only reason he has for wanting to be king is wanting to be king. It's like me and wanting a newer, bigger television. I have a nice TV already, but you know what? I could always use a newer one. The difference is that Macbeth's base desires involve murdering someone, a king no less. That's a big reason why he decides to give up the notion and tells his wife as much, but Lady Macbeth has already made up her mind. What can we gather from how they interact? We've already made mention in our discussion how Macbeth refers to Lady Macbeth as his partner in his letter in scene v. How does this scene strengthen that analysis? Has Lady Macbeth become unsexed like she asked? Does being a woman actually help her in her effort to convince Macbeth to side with her plans?

Tuesday, we finished up act I. We then began to view the different interpretations of Shakespeare's words by viewing the Royal Shakespeare Company's version of Macbeth that aired on HBO long before you were born. Heck, I don't think I was born when this originally aired. Besides noting some of the famous actors in the play, note how different directors could take the same dialogue we've read together and see something else entirely in their reading. My goal is for us to view at least two other versions, if not more, later on to really explore how differing interpretations are key to understanding the Bard.

You took a quiz on act I Wednesday, which determined how well you were paying attention to our reading in class.

There was another quiz on Thursday, this time on the Macbeth terms found in your Shakespacket. You also turned in your first ORU of the semester.

Friday, you turned in your first Act Paragraph, exploring a thematic dichotomy of your choosing in act I of the play. We then discussed Macbeth's dagger soliloquy, which forces us to ask if Macbeth is really being driven by fate or if he's just crazypants. Both, by the way, are valid interpretations.

Also, it's a bad idea to eat chocolate before a cardio-kickboxing class.

I cannot kick this high.

In an effort to fight off Father Time, prove something to myself, and continue my quest to one day become the oldest man in the world, I've decided to go to my cardio-kickboxing class four days in a row this week, with a possibility of a fifth time on Saturday. Today was day three. There were so many kicks, and kicks are the thing I hate the most in the class because I'm not good at them and my hips are boney and inflexible. Plus, my shins still have nerve endings in them so they have not yet become accustomed to striking the heavy bag one hundred times in succession. That is to say, it hurts. But it's on my to do list, so it must be done...just like this blog post!


Frosh
We've been dedicating time to sonnets of the Shakespearian variety.

Tuesday, we went over the components of a sonnet in detail and took a close look at Shakespeare's Sonnet 18, where the speaker compares his friend to a summer's day. As long as people survive to read the poem, his buddy's beauty will always live on through the words the Bard uses. That makes it pretty neat that we're here reading it 400 years later, huh? You also received time to work on memorizing your lit terms.

Our focus today was Sonnet 73, where things took a more somber turn as the speaker in Shakespeare's poem remarks on aging and the inevitable onset of death. Notice that in the three quatrains, the speaker makes sure to note that the person he's talking to sees in him the youth that used to exist. Again, it ends with a nice note of friendship as the buddy still wants to know and appreciate him despite the fact that the youth that used to be there is all gone.

This is also the perfect opportunity to detail the Frosh bonus assignment: For 15 points, write a Shakespearian sonnet that contains all of the components of a sonnet that we've discussed (3 quatrains, 1 ending couplet, and it follows the correct rhyme scheme). If you want to go the extra mile (and really impress the everything out of me), write it in iambic pentameter for an additional 5 points. Heck, if you manage to successfully write a full sonnet in iambic pentameter (successfully being the key word here), then you'll have earned an additional 10 points. The breakdown is as follows:

• Shakespearian sonnet: 15 points
• Shakespearian sonnet attempted in iambic pentameter: 20 points
• Shakespearian sonnet successfully utilizing iambic pentameter: 25 points

Good look. All poems are due by Tuesday. I'll accept blog comments until Monday at 11:59pm.

Seniors
We've been spending our time discussing Macbeth.

On Tuesday, we started off the play proper. The first scene sets the spooky atmosphere and provides spectacle to calm the masses who would have otherwise been a rowdy audience. The second scene provides exposition so we know just how awesome Macbeth is. Our third scene introduces Macbeth and Banquo as well as the prophecies. Remember to keep track of the various dichotomies for your act paragraphs because they are everywhere throughout the play.

Today, we finished off the third scene and then you spent time working on the questions about the aside passage where Macbeth reveals that he's had some rather impure thoughts about how he might become king. It kind of makes you wonder if he's thought about this sort of thing prior to our introduction of him since his mind immediately goes to thoughts of regicide. Those questions, by the way, are due tomorrow.

It's never nice to steal...

...but this compilation of people stealing hats from UFC fighters while they make their entrance is pretty hilarious. I'm thinking that I'd like to add "steal a hat from an entering UFC fighter" to my bucket list. It doesn't hurt that the song accompanying the video is awesome all on its own.




Everyone, I appreciate your continued patience as my room continues to be a sweltering mess. Please understand that I'm much more miserable in this particular situation because I'm in there all day. If I had any control over the AC and how busted it must be, it would already be fixed. My fingers are crossed that it will be fixed soon.

Beyond that, we have some mustarding to do. Wait, that's not right...

Frosh
You turned in the Idiot's Guide Outline last Thursday. We then went over a brief overview of the world according to Ptolemy, emphasizing the idea that his view of the world was skewed and that the alignment of planets, moons and stars affected the behavior of what would otherwise be rational thinking individuals. You also received the new and improved outside reading update. We'll attempt one together prior to the first one's due date.

Friday, we moved forward

Today, we started looking at a few literary terms on which you will be quizzed come next Tuesday. You'll get some time to do some studying of said terms tomorrow; creating flash cards is not necessarily required but strongly encouraged.

Seniors
On Thursday and Friday, you received the Shakespacket and had time to read and evaluate the information. I urge you not to take this lightly because, unlike first semester, I'm not padding the grade book with initial points. From the (lack of) class discussion today, I get the impression that too many people have forsaken the "reading" part of the Shakespacket essay assignment in favor of "not reading." This approach has bad idea written all over it. There will be many references to the information without my explanation during the course of our analysis of Macbeth. Please keep this in mind. You also received the requirements for the semester's outside reading.

Today, we picked up copies of Macbeth from the library and chose roles in anticipation of our reading the play. Everyone is locked into the roles for act I, and when act II rolls around, we'll switch it up. Additionally, we discussed the many different thematic dichotomies present in the play as well as the paragraphs you will have to complete for each act. Links to both of those sheets either are already available on the files section of the blog (in the case of the paragraph) or will be shortly (in the case of the dichotomy sheet).

Fresh Start and a Clean Slate

I've set a goal for myself. I only read 16 books last year. My reading consistency always falls off a cliff in the months between September and December because I get caught up in grading a whole ton of papers for the lit project. Still, I could be spending the time I am not grading on reading as opposed to watching TV or playing video games. So my goal this year is to read 25 books in 2011. Like I did in 2010, I'll crosspost my Goodreads reviews here to keep track and as a way to keep me honest.


Frosh
We started the semester off with a discussion about grades and how second semester works. The first semester of high school is tough; you have to make many adjustments in your expectations as well as figuring out what others expect of you. Because of the time it takes some folks to get themselves situated, grades and work ethic have a tendency to fall by the wayside. Second semester gives those people a chance to get back on track. Every single student starts second semester with a clean slate; grades start over from scratch. Look at second semester as an opportunity to right the wrongs of the first semester or to continue on a path that has already been working for you.

The class also discussed their Shakespeare knowledge, most of which consisted of people sharing that the Bard is a poet. At least I know the page everybody is on going into this unit.

Meanwhile, on Tuesday, you started reading the first chapter of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Shakespeare, a title I hope no one takes at face value. The beauty of the Complete Idiot's Guide series is the way it is able to take complex and sometimes daunting subjects and simplify them into easily digestible books. You began to fill out the outline for the biographical chapter. To understand the creator is to better understand the work, so we study Shakespeare prior to reading Romeo & Juliet. Makes perfect sense, right?

Today is much of the same. I also will give you the newest ORU incarnation for second semester.

Seniors
It's a new semester! On Monday, we reviewed the slightly updated class syllabus for everyone's benefit, especially those new to the class due to a change in class schedules for second semester.

Here's the thing: I like second semester better than the first. We're in a rhythm as a class, and there's a bit more focus due to the fact that everyone reads the same text. The lit project is great, but for my own sanity, I prefer everyone reading the same work. There's also, at least in the fourth quarter, a renewed sense of urgency in the class because everyone wants to graduate.

Tuesday, we discussed our bucket lists, but the underlying premise was to discuss what each individual would be willing to do in order to achieve the things on said lists, as well as how far each person would go for the people in their lives and their respective lists. It's an interesting moral dilemma that we will constantly revisit in our Macbeth discussions.

Oh yeah, did I mention we started our Macbeth unit? 'Cause we did. Today will see us get some terms under our belts, some new and some old. Some of the terms will be your responsibility when I give you the fabled Shakespacket tomorrow, but if you ever have questions about the terms, let me know. The test on these terms won't be taking place until January 20, so there's some time.

Also, if anyone wants to purchase Macbeth or Romeo & Juliet, I've provided a link below to their respective Amazon pages.

And we're back!

Being sick is never any fun, and it's often more work to arrange for a day I'm not there than it is for me to actually be there doing the work. Unfortunately, for the second time this school year and the third time in a calendar year, my ear has betrayed me. Thankfully, I wasn't out for as long as last time, but the affliction is a bit worse than before. I appreciate your patience with me and my constant need for you to repeat yourself. I know I don't like to do that, and I really hate that I have been forced to ask you to do so. Hopefully, the lack of hearing on my right side will pass soon enough.

Frosh
You were assigned the Act IV group project, where each group is responsible for producing, interpreting and presenting a scene from act IV to the class and individuals will create a product and a half-page paper based on their roles in the group. Everyone needs to act in the presented scene, save directors who will be responsible for the script with stage directions and a full-page paper that explains their choices. This is an exciting project that I always anticipate doing throughout the school year. I'm a big stickler for creativity, and anyone that takes a chance to do something spectacular is rewarded for the effort, even if that chance falls through to some degree. Each day this week, I'll be giving you a different objective to fulfill. Today, for instance, I encouraged everyone to finish reading through their respective scenes and choose a time period for the setting.

Seniors
Monday saw everyone receive the final Macbeth paragraph assignment, and we discussed the different interpretations of the play, specifically those made by Roman Polanski in his film version. I'm looking to do one last Macbeth assignment, but I'm unsure of just what that will be yet or if it will even happen. Regardless, tomorrow we start off on existentialism, which means more talking about your own interpretation of the world and reality. This will be fun, and sometimes confusing.

On Metaphors and Due Dates

Frosh
The balcony scene provides plenty of opportunities to identify metaphors and other comparisons. It also sets the ground for the rest of the play, since Romeo proposes marriage. We also were introduced to the Friar, whose hasty decision to help the two young lovebirds ends poorly for everyone involved. If you're looking for someone to blame, he's the guy.

Seniors
Now Macbeth is not only a jerk, but an insane jerk. This is what happens when a body doesn't sleep. Considering the new visions he has, Macbeth finds himself at a crossroads. Ask yourself if what the witches show Macbeth are actually visions. Do any of them actually portend future events? Depending on your answer, what does that tell us about the witches?

Keep in mind the following dates:

• February 10 - Act III Paragraph due
• February 11 - Polanski Film Permission Slips due
• February 16 - Act IV Paragraph due
• February 18 - Act V Paragraph due; OR Update 3 due
• February 26 - Final Macbeth Paragraph due

All of these dates are currently reflected on the calendar on my class website. I know I haven't given you the assignment for the Final Macbeth Paragraph yet, but I will soon, so don't freak out. Also, please make sure you turn in those Polanski permission slips because you will have an alternate assignment in lieu of watching the very violent and kind of fun film. The director is a creepy rapist, but the movie works really well and has some very original interpretations.

Finally, if you plan to earn the bonus points associated with annotating your own copy of The Stranger, then you should make sure to have it in hand by March 1. This is a preliminary date, but more than likely, we'll be working with Albert Camus' novel by then.

Look out for the soliloquy power up!

Dante's Inferno Studio Thrilled with EA's Marketing Support

Why am I linking to an article about the marketing of a video game? Besides the fact that Dante's Inferno is a classic piece of literature (admittedly, one that I haven't read) which was turned into a new video game (admittedly again, one that I haven't played), but the makers of the game have quite the idea for a new game.

IG: So is there anything else in your classical studies that you'd like to realize in game form?
JK: Macbeth the game is something I've been thinking about for years, but now, I think the emotional quality that games are achieving and the value level of the acting and the sound work makes it possible. The thing is, the unique quality of games is being interactive; it's about action and killing things and pursuing those mechanics is tricky when bringing in classic media; Dante's is more of a violent interpretation of the poem for example. Macbeth would be great, though; there are witches and a supernatural experience along with plenty of intrigue and murder.

That's certainly...interesting. Any actual game is several years away, but I think I'd be interested in playing it should it ever be developed. At the very least, I'd feel obligated to play it so as to clear up misconceptions folks might develop about the play.

On Other Second Semesters

Currently, I'm sitting in my Educational Psychology class, which, besides my graduate seminar course where the goal is to write a very long paper, is my last actual class before earning my Master's Degree. Class has not actually begun yet as I type this up, so don't think I'm attempting to be a bad student or role model. Instead, I'm trying to catch up on some lost time in the blogging world.

From what I understand, pictures exist of my sumo hockey hijinks from the past weekend, so I'll make those available as soon as I can...if you care. Seriously, though, that was quite a good time.

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Frosh
After finally finishing that first scene, we are rolling along. Scenes ii, iii and iv are all short and sweet, each one introducing at least one important or noteworthy character. Paris arrives in scene ii, the nurse and Juliet show up in scene iii, and Mercutio makes his presence known in scene iv. Of those, Juliet is probably most important since her name is in the title, but I have a personal affinity for Mercutio. His motivations are fascinating and always open to multiple interpretations. Also, I hope you start to appreciate the advent of stage directions in future plays and scripts you read while realizing the pros and cons of the absence of them in Shakespeare's work. Understanding how and where characters address one another is tough to figure out at first, but it'll be helpful whenever you check out Shakespeare in the future.

Your ORU #2 is due on Thursday. The Act I Study Guide and Act I Review are both due on Friday. Remember that in order to get full credit, your answers need to be in complete sentences.

Seniors
Macbeth is quite the jerk since becoming king, or maybe it's just his true nature becoming clear. Still, the jerk part is evident what with ordering the assassination of Banquo and all. His wife is even starting to think so.

You also took both the terms re-test and a quiz on Act II. The third paragraph will be due a week from Wednesday. Meanwhile, your second Outside Reading Update will be due Thursday.

The Blame Game

Frosh
The differences between the Franco Zeffirelli version of Romeo & Juliet and Baz Luhrman's version are numerous. It's your job to have noticed them in your notes and then write a paragraph discussing those differences. When looking at the characters, notice the way they act, the way they look, and the way they talk compared to how we read it together in class using the text. Notice what the actors do, their apparent feelings and emotions as well as what is left out when tracking the action. Finally, keep track of where the characters are located, the time period and the time of day when looking at the setting.

Bonus for Frosh (10 points): In a thoughtful (5 sentences minimum sounds thoughtful to me), explain who you think is most at fault for the brawl that occurs in I.i and why you think so. Use evidence from the scene to support your answer. The deadline to answer is Thursday. Any answers submitted beyond that will be lost to the sands of time.

Seniors
Act II is incredibly dense with thematic dichotomies. In particular, you'll find plenty of evidence for the natural vs. supernatural dichotomy towards the end of the act, both figuratively in what characters say and literally in the actions they describe happening in the wake of Duncan's death. Macbeth is the picture of insanity vs. sanity, too. Act II also provides the actual murder of the king, which up to now, had been something Macbeth seemed to want to avoid...or did he? That leads us to the bonus question.

Bonus for Seniors (10 points): In a thoughtful response (6-8 sentences minimum seems pretty thoughtful) explain who you feel to be most responsible for Duncan's death and why. Is it Macbeth, Lady Macbeth or the witches? Or is it someone else entirely? The deadline to answer is Thursday. Any answers submitted beyond that will be lost to the sands of time.

Emo Equivocation

Frosh
Emo is the word of the day because that's the best way to describe one of our titular characters. Look, Romeo is a bit of a putz, but he's also a teenager, and who among us wasn't a putz at some point? And who can say they won't be one in the future? I know there will be a point in the future where it happens again, too. A person is lucky if they go through a week with a putz-free moment viewed by the general public, let alone those smaller moments wherein he or she is secretly aware of the putziness involved even if others are not.

Seniors
Equivocation is the word of the day. It's fun because Macbeth allows you to determine what the title character says is true or not or if the truth even exists. This is the ultimate English major treat because there's evidence that supports both sides, and, as long as you can support it well with evidence, you're not wrong. Everybody wins!

On cynicism & hard work

Frosh
Last Thursday and Friday we read Romeo & Juliet. Meanwhile, I'm in the process of grading the accumulated work of the semester.

Seniors
We went through some more of Act II in Macbeth. Things pick up big time in this act. Make sure you're paying attention because while some texts may discuss the ideas of the thematic dichotomies, they rarely identify them as such.

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Finally, Conan O'Brien's farewell address on the Tonight Show last Friday was pretty inspiring. I'm writing this on Monday morning, but I'll edit the post later to include video of it. In the meantime, here's a transcript of what he said.

"Every comedian dreams of hosting the Tonight Show and—for seven months—I got to. I did it my way, with people I love, and I do not regret a second [of it] ... All I ask is one thing, and I'm asking this particularly of young people that watch: Please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism, for the record it's my least favorite quality. It doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."

Good stuff, right? I can't say I always live by it, but it is something I extol to others in the hope of seeing more people express optimism in the face of crushing defeat.

On Biting Thumbs & Late Nights

The rain has made it hard to get to the gym to work out. With the weather the way it is, my dog stays inside all day, so I have to rush home to let him out, and he's not too keen on being alone in his cage for another two hours after I get home. Then the wife arrives back and the motivation to stay home with her grows while the motivation to go anywhere else, let alone the gym, wanes. Angela is way cooler than any of the people there anyway. At least I can say I've been eating better, so hopefully the progress lost in not going these last four days isn't too severe. I just hate to lose that momentum, but the alternative ain't half bad.

Two other things before we get started on the day's events:

1. Everybody should turn in the first outside reading update tomorrow.
2. If you're not paying attention to the recent dust-up between NBC, Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien, you're missing out on some of the most interesting developments in late night television in almost 20 years. The original brouhaha that developed when Johnny Carson vacated his throne as the King of Late Night is one of the first entertainment stories that actively received my attention. The fact that there are three times as many people on at late night nowadays (the aforementioned Jay and Conan, Dave Letterman, Jimmy Kimmel, the largely silent Craig Ferguson and the largely unfunny Jimmy Fallon, not to mention the tag team of Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert) has made this particular story even more interesting. In case you're wondering, I'm with Coco.
   

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Frosh
So how about that test, huh? Keep those terms in mind for our time reading the play.

The first and last scenes in Romeo & Juliet are the longest in the play, which is something I never really noticed before. However, diving in to Shakespeare is tough but it gets easier the more people read it. Keep up with the study guide for each act because those will be invaluable (which is better than valuable because it is priceless, you see) later on when having to write about the play or when taking a test.

Seniors
Well, the storms sure did honk up the testing time, didn't it? I hope you did well regardless.

The Royal Shakespeare Company's version of Macbeth starring Ian McKellen and Judi Dench is definitely interesting...and also sometimes laughable. BUT! It's important to understand that seeing the different interpretations of Shakespeare provides the opportunity for nuances in the story that could be there even if they are never explicitly stated. When Duncan orders the Thane of Cawdor's execution, he appears to address Ross in the text, but this particular version instead sees Duncan order Malcolm to take care of it. Malcolm's moment of hesitation allows Ross to step in and carry the burden for the Prince of Cumberland. What does this particular interpretation say about Malcolm? I'd love to see what you have to say in the comments.

On Shakespeare and Assignments

So we are a bit behind in our blog posting. Of course, this is the royal 'we,' which is really a grand effort to avoid taking responsibility in saying I and shifting the blame to a collective. But onward! There are tests on terms this Tuesday! Fascinating!

By the way, the Folger Shakespeare Library is a blog for both teachers and students about the Bard and provides some great resources. Check it out when you get the chance.

Frosh
Poetry has always been a weak spot for me, but sonnets are interesting in that they go against what I imagine is the natural convention of poetry, a form that's supposed to be free and spirited and all sorts of other hippie type words, by having so many rules and strict standards. Specifically over the last week, we covered Sonnet 73, which is a great poem to look at for its metaphorical content, as well as the prologue of Romeo & Juliet. Be prepared to really dive into metaphors and symbolism with Shakespeare because the dude loves it.

You will have a copy of the play on Monday, either one you pick up from the library or a bonus point copy you purchase for yourself.

Seniors
We finished Act I of Macbeth and I'd like to think everyone is starting to see Shakespeare in a different light. I genuinely get excited about this time of year because I like talking and I like Shakespeare and those are two great tastes that taste great together like peanut butter and chocolate. The big thematic dichotomy present, especially in the first half, is 'good vs. evil,' what with the witches and Macbeth's horrid thoughts of regicide. The latter part of the act, with the introduction of Lady Macbeth, develops the dichotomy of 'masculinity vs. femininity.'

You also received the Act Paragraphs assignment, the first of which will be due Monday, January 25 and is worth 50 points. Expect to have those due roughly three days after we finish each act. It's never clear how long an act will take to read together, which is why I can't give you hard and fast due dates for those paragraphs.

Everyone (hopefully) turned in their Aside Questions and the Shakespacket Essay. That's 85 points which I hope to have graded very soon.

I hope everyone is keeping up with the outside reading requirements. The first outside reading update is due on Thursday for both the freshpeople and the seniors.

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Finally, here's the only entertaining thing that will probably happen on American Idol this year. Enjoy.