What's a grown up?

Why is Chris Rock's body
half-destroyed by the waterslide?

"Remember when you were a kid and you thought there was such a thing as 'real grown ups'? You were crying because you got sent to your room and said, 'You know what? One day, I'm going to be a grown up and everything is going to make sense.' Then one day, you're 25 in the supermarket and the bag boy calls you sir. How did that happen?"

- Joe Rogan

At 31 years old, I'm often confronted with the fact that I am considered by most to be a grown up. This is an odd notion with which to contend because there are too many occasions where I feel the opposite. Sure, I have a career as a teacher, but my walls are covered with superhero decorations my wife and I bought at Party City. We pay our cable bill each month, but at least a third of our DVR is filled with cartoons, yet we don't have any kids at the moment. Far too much space in our house (MY WIFE AND I OWN A HOUSE!) is devoted to comic books, DVDs, CDs and video games. Yet, by most accounts, especially those of my students, I'm considered a grown up, and I'm definitely expected to act like one.

This idea is astronomically mind-blowing because the more I learn, the less I realize I know. We (the collective 'we' or the royal 'we,' in this case) come away with the idea that grown ups are the ones that know things, the ones that keep the world working and in order. Grown ups raise us and prepare us for the world. However, what no one tells anyone else, and what comedian Joe Rogan alludes to in the above quote, is that not a single person ever realizes they've become a grown up.

Allow me to pull the curtain back on the grown up experience for a second here. "Grown ups" are a figment of our youthful imagination. No one knows what they are doing and those that say they do are just smart enough to fake it. There is no such thing as a grown up. As much as I questioned myself as an adolescent, as a teenager or even as a little kid, wondering what it is I'm supposed to do with my life or when it will be that I will have it all figured out, I can honestly tell you that I am no closer now than I ever was then. Sure, I have some answers; marriage made sense to me because I found a wonderful lady, and over the course of time I started figuring out that paying bills, for instance, leads to the rest of my life being easier. But those answers only brought more questions and more concerns. Will my wife someday get tired of my antics? (Probably not, if she hasn't already.) Will the pressures of maintaining my preferred lifestyle weigh me down and prevent me from growing as a person? (Yikes, that's just a scary question to even ask.) No one has anything figured out to any degree of certainty, and that's something that makes life amazing and frightening. Everyone pretends to know the answer but that's only because they're too scared to admit that they have no idea what is going on. No one is excluded from this, either; me, your neighbor, the President of the United States and everyone else in between -- they're all in the same boat.

And the horizon? Holy jeez, folks, I'm planning to have kids one day. Figuring myself out and coming to terms with being a grown up is one thing, but trying to get somebody else prepared for a world I hardly understand but find to be insane and fascinating all at once is an entirely crazy proposition.

What's even crazier is that all of this came about not because I saw that terrible Adam Sandler movie but because my wife and I went to buy an oven this weekend. That's a decidedly grown up action and one that could only be mitigated by purchasing a new video game.

With that out of the way, let's take a look at last week's antics.

Frosh
For Monday through Thursday of last week, we focused our energy on Act II of Romeo & Juliet. These two crazy kids meet, fall in love, and get married in the space of about 12 hours, something that usually only happens in Las Vegas. Now, two questions remain. How will this affect everyone else in the play and what will the consequences be of their rash action? Here's a hint: poorly and death.

Friday, we moved forward.

Yesterday, you turned in your act II study guide and review. We assigned roles for act III and started reading it. The third act, and the first scene in particular, serve as a real turning point for the rest of the play. Things will go from largely comedic to incredibly tragic very quickly.

Seniors
Monday of last week, our guest from Everest College gave a presentation on professionalism for job interviews. Much of what she discussed consisted of common sense information, but it's always important to revisit and remember those ideas.

Tuesday through Thursday saw us finish Macbeth and see the titular bad guy foiled due to his own hubris and faith in the equivocal prophecies. Also, his head was chopped off, so that must have made an interesting 17th century visual on stage.

Friday, you worked on the Metaphor in Macbeth assignment dealing with Macbeth's lamentations on the meaninglessness of life. Keep that speech in mind as we enter our next unit on Albert Camus' The Stranger.

Yesterday, you turned in your act V paragraphs, received the final Macbeth paragraph assignment and began working on the Film Interpretation questions for the Polanski version of Macbeth. It was a busy day. Keep in mind that the questions will be due Monday, February 28 and the final paragraph is due Wednesday, March 2.

Book 8 of 2011

This was my SSR book for the last few weeks, and I finished it just before the journalism class' story idea meeting.

8) NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman

There's a common cliche that has always bugged me about parenting books and the people who read them: the readers share their knowledge with parents who are in the thick of raising kids, and the former attempt to school the latter on what they're doing wrong. And while I was reading this book, I didn't want to be that guy, especially considering more of my friends that I talk to on a regular basis have kids now than don't. Thankfully, this doesn't quite count as a parenting book but more of a child psychology book. Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman, NurtureShock's authors, take many of society's normal preconceived notions about children -- from infants to teenagers -- and debunk the thinking surrounding them.

Top Numbered Somethings: Awesome Songs by So-So Artists

Most of my favorite songs are by bands or artists that I also consider to be my favorites. If I were to name my top five favorite songs, they'd probably almost exclusively be by two or three of my top five favorite artists.

Both of those are lists for another day, however. Instead, I was curious about another facet of favorites: songs a person absolutely loves by artists towards which they are completely ambivalent. This is not to say that the artists are in any way bad. In fact, it's very possible that someone could see any of the following musical acts as a huge deal and their personal favorites because they're talented and have storied careers, but that's not the point of this list.

For me, I don't care one way or the other about these artists; they just have songs that hit me where I live. There's one other caveat, too: no one-hit wonders. For some reason, choosing a one-hit wonder (for example, The Proclaimers and their song "(500 Miles) I'm Gonna Be") shouldn't be an option because that's the only thing from them that you could really pick. I figure that this is a list where people could possibly be insulted by the fact that I chose their favorite band but appreciate the fact that I at least really dig one of their songs. Here are my top five in this very specific category:

5. "Don't Look Back in Anger" by Oasis
4. "Halo" by Beyonce
3. "Crooked Teeth" by Death Cab for Cutie
2. "Nine in the Afternoon" by Panic! At the Disco

1. "Story of My Life" by Social Distortion

I provided links to audio samples of the songs if you are not familiar with them, but my tastes in this arena are pretty mainstream. It's not hard to fathom that you've heard them before, but, just in case, you can click on the link and give it a go. Feel free to post your choices in the comments, too.

Frosh
Due to a miscommunication issue, I was caught by surprise by the registration assembly on Monday. It threw me off my plan for the week, but you were able to figure out your classes for next year. Sophomore year is a tough one because so much of your schedule is picked out for you and there's not too much in the way of choice. My only advice is to power through, make the best of it and know that the high school world is your oyster during your junior and senior year should you stay on track with your given courses.

We began act two of Romeo & Juliet on Tuesday and continued in that vein through Wednesday, allowing us to cover almost the entire balcony scene. While it's considered by the world at large to be the most famous scene in all of Shakespeare as well as romantic as all get out, we instead focused on how creepy it is that this dude was listening to the object of his affections inner-most thoughts right after they met. Romeo's actions would qualify him for stalker status by today's standards, and he's pretty lucky that Juliet is as taken with him as she is at that point.

Despite some technical difficulties on Thursday, we managed to get through two different versions of the balcony scene for media analysis. The media analysis sheet is due, appropriately enough, on Monday, February 14. It's Valentine's Day, you see.

Seniors
Macbeth's act four is done and out of the way as we covered it for the entire week. While it's the shortest act in the entire play, leading many to believe that it's the one that has been most ravaged by the fact that an original Shakespearian script has never been found, it does contain one of the longest scenes. Malcolm and Macduff really hash it out, giving us a clear view of Malcolm and his claims to have never lied before that moment (forcing us to ask if he's even telling the truth with that statement) and Macduff making the case for his dogged patriotism at the expense of the lives of his family members.

More importantly, we get Macbeth's second encounter with the witches, which is itself up for debate. Did Macbeth really find them? If so, how does Lennox and whoever else is there at the end not see them? Are they truly supernatural and fantastical or did Macbeth's insomnia-induced brain conjure them up? These are the kinds of ideas you could really explore pretty deeply in your dichotomy paragraph that is due Monday, February 14.

Book 7 of 2011

Finishing this on my iPad's Kindle app made me glad that I bought Mockingjay at the same time.

7) Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
The sequel to The Hunger Games finds the political intrigue merely hinted at in the first book become more of a focus here. Katniss' actions at the end of last year's Hunger Games makes her a target of President Snow and the rest of the Capitol, the city that represents the oppression present in all 12 of the districts.

Today was that Sports Ball match!

SPORTSBALL!

There's some kind of game on today, right?

People are always confused by the fact that I don't care at all about football or any other team sports. My explanation for my apathy doesn't help, either. In my formative years, I played baseball (as a southpaw, I served as a mean first base) and dabbled in soccer when I was 10 (perfecting the art of the flop in my sole season) and flag football during middle school (a savant in the one play of one game where the coach put me in at safety). The descriptions above shouldn't be read with bitterness, but with the knowledge that the feelings towards the sports were mutual; I spent the most time playing baseball and performed the best there, but even the novelty of it ran its course while the other two were one and done occasions.

Jon Jones may be able to add
Spider-Man to his list of defeated
opponents if he keeps this up.

Here's how it breaks down as a friend reminded me earlier today: all sports are a metaphor for fighting, so I don't waste my time with the metaphor and stick to straight depictions of fighting, whether they be real or imagined. Back when I played baseball, soccer, or football, I always wanted to be back on that Saturday afternoon in time to watch WWF Wrestling Challenge or WWF Superstars. And while the now WWE has become more of a source of embarrassment in terms too numerous to explain at this point in time, getting into UFC and MMA in general back in 2002 has provided the appeal of two dudes fighting without the constant accusations of the "How can you like it if it's not real?" crowd.

Speaking of fighting, for those of you at Kings Ball last night who were unlucky enough to miss the action at UFC 126, there were some huge news items coming out of that show. First and foremost, with the exception of the Forrest Griffin/Rich Franklin fight, I called all of the winners and even most of the methods. Besides proving myself to be the greatest man among all men, the other big news was Jon Jones getting a title shot in just six weeks. This has taken a card that I wasn't feeling too strongly about to  a must-see event come March 19. Mauricio "Shogun" Rua is a dangerous dude, but he'll be coming off a nearly year-long layoff due to a knee injury to face a guy that has the potential to be an all-time great while making it look easy.

In the meantime, I've been out of the blog-writing business for too long, so here's the last week's rundown.

Frosh
Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and and our rally-shortened Friday were all spent reading through act one of Romeo & Juliet. We witnessed Romeo being emo as all get out, Juliet appearing more practical than most her age, the Nurse embarrassing everyone in sight, and Mercutio providing lots of moments for actors to ACT in the Jon Lovitz style. You should be keeping up with all of the ins and outs of the act with your study guide. It and the act one review are both due on Wednesday, February 9.

Tuesday, we focused on media analysis. Having watched two different versions of the same scene, you compared them both to our own reading of the play, noting the differences in the characters, setting and action. You then focused on one or two details that stood out to you and wrote a paragraph on how and why those details mattered most. This is something I think is really important to do when we study Shakespeare since they were plays meant to be seen. Reading them alone doesn't do them justice.

Seniors
Monday through Wednesday were spent reading through act three of Macbeth. We see Macbeth slowly declining into madness due to committing regicide and doing everything he can to cover it up. The dichotomies are ripe and ready for the picking on your part, so remember that your act three paragraph is due on Monday, February 7. The plan is to finish act four before the end of the week and that paragraph will be due on Monday, February 14.

Thursday was an utter failure. The plan was to watch act three from the perspective of Orson Welles, but right off the bat in fifth period we witnessed how thoroughly he decided to leave his mark on the production by the sheer number of changes present. We discussed this in sixth period as well, accounting for the mismatched lines, the lack of a feast and Banquo seeming to think that Macbeth was king literally minutes after Duncan was discovered murdered and Malcolm taking off. I did manage to right things a bit, and we took the act three quiz a bit later.

Friday, I managed to free my VHS copy of the Royal Shakespeare Company's version of Macbeth, which is thankfully a lot more accurate, so we watched act three as it is meant to be shown. Notice that their choice for the third murderer, Lennox, will be different than the choice for other versions, most notably Polanksi's version.