Book 25 of 2011

I finished this one at home prior to getting ready to attend a party.

25) The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
Due to the whole English teacher thing, people react with astonishment when I tell them that I haven't read certain books. There's an undercurrent of malice laced in with said astonishment which I attribute to the fact that whatever book in question is near and dear to the person's heart. "You haven't read WHATEVERSOMESUCHBOOK?! And you call yourself a teacher?" Most of the time I chuckle at their indignation and respond with some cliche about nobody being perfect because I'm not. Books exist to be read, whether that's prior to a stupid conversation or not doesn't matter. The Bell Jar has always been one of those books.

And having read it now, it's pretty great.

The Sentinel of Liberty

My wife and I were also Captain and Mrs. Captain
America before such things were cool. (Halloween 2009)

Remember when I said that Thor was a great movie and that Chris Evans would have a tough time edging out the performance Chris Hemsworth delivers? Well, Captain America: The First Avenger is the BEST movie and Chris Evans does it.


When you look at the character of Steve Rogers, there are a number of things to admire. The one that always stood out to me is that he makes me forget about the petty nonsense that bogs down this country time and again. He isn't dictated by party lines and doesn't attempt to support one side over the other. Instead, Captain America attempts to showcase what makes the United States great. Where Superman represents the human ideal, Cap always represents the American ideal. 


Steve Rogers is a good man who strives to be better despite the fact that he's physically incapable. To any kid that was scrawny or weak (Me, I'm looking at you.), that is relatable. Chris Evans, who doesn't quite fit that bill of scrawny or weak if someone has ever happened to catch him in anything he's ever done, masterfully pulls off the pipsqueak part thanks to healthy dose of CGI. But there's a vulnerability and strength that's a difficult part to pull off, both in the before of being a strong-willed weakling and the after of confident and idealistic hero, especially considering Evans has to become someone that is inspiring, authoritative and carries a wealth of experience by the end of the film before he goes off to lead the Avengers. He hits every note perfectly, though, and it filled me with joy. I haven't smiled this much during a movie since The Incredibles.


There are three things that I really feel it's important to note, and the third might be a slight spoiler for the end of the film if you're at all unfamiliar with the Captain America mythos.


First, the unsung hero of the film is Stanley Tucci and his performance as Dr. Erskine. He's fatherly without being preachy and recognizes the true hero that Steve already is prior to getting the Super Soldier Serum. The way Tucci shows Erskine figure this out and relates the importance of remaining a good man to Steve shapes so much of what Captain America is about that his importance can't be undersold. His point alone really had me close to welling up.


Second, it's important to understand that Steve Rogers' preexisting virtue is what sets Captain America aside from every other Marvel Movie Universe character: Rogers doesn't need to gain super powers to become a hero because he already is one. He literally jumps on a live grenade to save the folks around him. There's a character in the army training scenes before he gets picked where the jerk keeps pushing Rogers around because, as many of the characters note, he's a bully. Hodgson is Tommy Lee Jones' pick for the project, but Erskine instead picks our boy without any kind of comeuppance coming his way. He shows up briefly later on in the film in Europe, and, for a moment, I thought how sweet it would be to see that guy get punched or even made to flinch by the newly awesome Captain America. It doesn't happen, and I'm really glad it didn't because that's another reason why Cap is a great man. He doesn't need to lower himself to that guy's level because he knows he could take that guy in a heartbeat, and, more importantly, he's better than that.


Finally, the ending is suitably tragic. There's always a hint of sadness surrounding any character study of Captain America because he's a man that lost everything and everyone he ever knew, a man out of time, and yet he continues to fight the good fight. Joe Johnson really hammers that home in Cap's final address and in the coda, which I expect will stick around through The Avengers.

Ten on Tuesday

Because I've desperately wanted to blog but lacked the focus to do so lately, I decided to steal an idea (while giving credit, mind you, so it's technically not stealing nor is it plagiarism but it's also easier to write steal than give this kind of long-winded explanation) that I saw an old college friend borrow from someone else (language alert on that last one). The original idea is to discuss ten things (on Tuesday) going on in my life as a means of catching up, but I'm just going to modify it to apply to ten things that I've done or been thinking about. Sure, most people will be reading this on Wednesday (if ever), and a Five on Friday idea would be much easier, but it's still technically Tuesday as I begin to write and Friday would be a much more difficult day to attempt this, which leads to number one.

1. Coming on the heels of our anniversary weekend trip to Las Vegas, the wife and I are headed out there for a truncated one night stay to show some friends how to do things up right. Never in my life did I expect to be the kind of person that could show Vegas newbies around town, but with our trips over the last few years coming about every six months, I guess it's time to accept that my wife and I are those people.

2. Aside from the time I spent lesson planning with Ms. Windt last month, today was one of the most productive of the summer. I replaced my car key battery, took Spider-Man (the dog) to get his vaccinations, saw Transformers: Dark of the Moon, got some quality reading time in, and went to the gym. This is what passes for accomplishment during the summer.

3. Spider-Man (the dog) has been having a bit of a rough time today due to said vaccinations or just the visit to the vet in general. Either way, dog vomit is annoying but also a great name for a hardcore punk band. He's fine now, thankfully.

4. Speaking of lesson planning, thanks to mine and Ms. Windt's foresight, we have the first four weeks of Frosh Honors English planned out. This is an amazing feat. Trust me.

5. A trailer for The Amazing Spider-Man leaked today. When it comes to comic book movies, I really try to give them the benefit of the doubt until their release, but so many things bug me (HAH!) about the choices Marc Webb and company are making for the film that I'm beginning to wonder if the director got the gig based solely on his name (See what I did there?). The costume hasn't wowed me mostly because I don't like the rounded off red section that remains disconnected from the belt, however, I understand the need to set the costume apart visually from the Raimi movies. I don't even mind that Sony has chosen to reboot a franchise whose last movie came out just four years ago. Despite the so-so box office returns, The Incredible Hulk was a short-term reboot that fixed and addressed the problems with the Ang Lee original. What kills me is the idea that we, the audience, have such short-term memories that they need to once again do another retelling of Spider-Man's origin. The same applies to the upcoming Superman reboot, Man of Steel. You know those "Previously on..." segments at the beginning of one hour dramas? That's how long it should take to tell the origin of any comic book character that's had a film in the past 25 years. Comic books have told interesting stories about superheroes for nearly 80 years now and have done so without needing to constantly spend a third or more of their content space devoted to the origin of the character.

6. CM Punk really is the Best Wrestler in the World right now, and I'm glad I spent money watching him put on a classic match at WWE Money in the Bank. I won't bore anyone by recapping his recent phenomenal storyline here; it's hard to appreciate if you're not a long-term fan. However, Punk's exit that night (a screencap of which I included) was one of the greatest in recent memory. By the by, if anyone knows a way to get me a copy of the shirt he wore to the ring for his match that night, I would really dig it. The current asking price for an XL on eBay has been in the neighborhood of $250, since it was a limited edition deal that was only available at the show in Chicago. But I figure the many people who will see this are industrious and/or richer than I am, so it never hurts to ask.

7. Why isn't there a Dunkin Donuts presence here in Southern California? Granted, not having access to yet another donut chain is probably good for my wallet and waistline, but I am a glutton for movie tie-ins, especially comic book movie tie-ins. After getting a Thor Big Gulp cup back in May, I assumed that 7-Eleven would handle all of my Marvel needs by handling the Captain America stuff, too. Then I could have a matching set of Avengers cups prior to the team finding their way to the big screen next summer. Unfortunately, Dunkin Donuts scored that particular license, and none exist in a 50 mile radius. Seriously, I looked. It doesn't help that the franchise still advertises in California, thus rubbing it in my face that I can never drink a Captain America Coolatta. I don't even know what a "Coolatta" is but if Captain America puts his name on it, then it can't be bad.

8. I also wanted to devote an entire entry to testosterone replacement therapy and it's use among UFC/MMA fighters, but I devote too much space to the latter subject on this blog as it is, so I'll just speak to the former here. It's cheating. Men that do genuinely need testosterone replacement therapy fall into two camps: those who are later along in life (usually in their late 40's to early 50's) and experience a genuine drop in their body's level of testosterone and those who have artificially boosted their level of testosterone through the use of steroids and damaged their endocrine system to the degree that they now need to bring their body's amount up to normal levels. If fighters fall into either of the two camps, they should no longer be professional fighters. Period. Here's what most people seem to forget about the use of steroids in mixed martial arts: they don't make a fighter stronger, granting an incredible Hulk-like physique. They aren't a super soldier serum that will suddenly make scrawny Steve Rogers into taller and buffer Captain America. A person taking steroids will not wake up with more muscles the next day or the next week. Steroids allow people to recover from workouts faster so they can workout more without the fatigue and muscle soreness associated with working out. It doesn't matter if a fighter tests positive for steroids on the day of their fight, as is the norm for testing with almost every state athletic commission these days. Should a fighter test positive on that day, that person is an idiot who didn't get the full use out of the steroids in the first place. Taking steroids during their training camp is where the benefit lies. This is why UFC should pay for truly random out-of-competition testing for their fighters as condition of the new health insurance the company has provided for them. Anyone who claims a need for therapeutic use should be shown the door, which sadly includes Chael Sonnen, a fighter I happen to enjoy a great deal.

9. Noticing gray hair in my beard is really cool because I feel like I'm one step closer to that distinguished professorial look I've always wanted to achieve. Next stop, corduroy jackets with suede elbow patches!

10. Man, Transformers: Dark of the Moon was an awful movie. However, Sam Witwicky's mom is still the most entertaining character in the entire franchise. Even if Shia LeBeef fails to return for the next one, I sure hope his parents make an appearance.

Book 24 of 2011

I finished this while on vacation in Las Vegas.

24) You Suck: A Love Story by Christopher Moore

This is a sequel to Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story, which I read a few weeks ago. There may be a few spoilers for the first book here, since a major event happens at the end of that one which heavily influences this second part.

With Jody having turned Tommy into a vampire, she creates a new set of problems for the very mismatched but sometimes adorable couple. They recruit a teenaged goth girl minion and her gay best friend, but save for a Smurf-like hooker, the rest of the characters stay the same.

The events of the story follow immediately from the first book and span the course of about three weeks compared to the three months of the predecessor. Right away, this created a disconnect because Moore wrote the first book in 1995 and this was published in 2007. Based off the references and technology used in this one, he's retroactively placed the first book in the future. While it shouldn't have, it really threw me off.

There appear to be some structural parallels between this vampires in San Francisco trilogy to the Back to the Future series. Bloodsucking Fiends was written independently of anything else with a coda that leaves the story open for a possible sequel but it largely works on its own. The same applies to the first installment of Marty McFly and Doc Brown's tale. Demand grows to the point that somebody greenlights a sequel, except the story is big enough to encompass two books in the case of Moore's characters and movies in the case of BttF. To save money and/or time, the two are made concurrently, but, as a result, the second in the series makes for a weaker story. Yes, Back to the Future II has some great moments and gave us hoverboards, but it never feels complete and tends to get sidetracked with reliving moments from the first movie. Look at it this way: I can always watch the original Back to the Future without any problem and call it a day. However, if I start watching part II, either on TV or DVD, then I better have part III on standby or else my day is going to feel unfinished and empty.

That was the problem I had with You Suck. Half of the book keeps wanting to relive and summarize the original, probably because Moore cashes in on the Twilight craze by writing a sequel to a twelve year old vampire book that few in the demographic read the first time around. Until I read Bite Me: A Love Story, I don't feel like my opinion of this particular part can feel fully formed.

That's What Cheese Said (or Happy birthday, America! Welcome to my heart attack!)

Back in March, I shared the transcendent experience of the YOUCANHASCHEESEBURGER. It is a delicacy that I haven't been able to get out of my mind since then. The problem is that my wife and I don't live in Portland and finding a food truck conglomerate like the one available there isn't something we're privy to here in the Inland Empire. Or I just haven't made a strong effort to look. Regardless, even when Angela and I have traveled to specialty burger joints (like Slaters 50/50 in Anaheim), there hasn't been a reasonable facsimile they offer.

Finally, my wife had enough. She makes a mean grilled cheese sandwich and always includes a tiny bit of garlic salt while readying the bread to make it her own. Angela said that if I could come up with a name for our version of the YOUCANHASCHEESEBURGER, then she'd make it for our inaugural Fourth of July Explodesavaganza.

"Can we put bacon on it?" I asked.

Yes.

"What about avocado? Avocado is so awesome."

Sure.

"And we'll get tomatoes?"

Of course.

I have the greatest wife in the world.

My Netflix time has been dedicated to watching episodes of The Office recently, so after some careful deliberation, the idea for That's What Cheese Said was born. Angela also decided to make mac & cheese in the slow cooker, which is what really makes this burger shine. Our friends brought over their baby to hang out for the barbecue, and Nick had the genius idea to include the mac & cheese with the burger. During that brief time it took to wolf this sucker down, nothing was wrong in the world. Diseases were cured, war ended and poverty was a thing of the past all for that short period where That's What Cheese Said went from the red disposable plate on our kitchen table down to my belly. It's such a rich and decadent experience, that for the benefit of our waistlines and hearts, Angela and I have decided that this should be a tradition, but only an annual tradition. Seriously, can you imagine eating this more than once a year? I would be happy, but there isn't enough gym time or cardio-kickboxing classes in the world available to counteract the effects.

When they left later that evening, Nick remarked, "Thanks for taking those years off the end of my life."

Eh, those are the years that usually suck anyway. I regret nothing.